The Lost Girl
by Melpomene blue
Summary: DARK, VERY DARK... "She was cold and hungry and hurting. Truth be told, she had been all those things many times over in her relatively short life – such was the reward of living life as a street rat." AU set sometime early to mid-ish season 4.
1. Chapter 1

Title: The Lost Girl

Author: Melpomene Blue

Disclaimer: I own nothing...

She was cold and hungry and hurting. Truth be told, she had been all those things many times over in her relatively short life – such was the reward of living life as a street rat. The constant pain, ravenous hunger, and bone-chilling cold she could easily handle with her own very specific brand of brash aplomb – at least she could handle it in the depths of her thoughts – but the inky, bottomless darkness that surrounded her filled her with unadulterated terror. The dark twisted and twined its way through her ears until she could not even hear her own breathing, it curled itself around her limbs and held them solidly in place, it choked her voice so that she could not even scream.

She had been lost for what seemed to her to be years but was probably more like months. The moreevasive part of her brain kept trying to convince her it had only been months. Surely it had been mere months... they wouldn't let her be lost for more than that, would they? They would swoop in to rescue her any day now all she had to do was hang in there and not give up. They wouldn't actually leave her to rot in the living hell that had swallowed her whole.

It worried her only vaguely that she kept waiting on _them_ even though she could not remember who _they_ were. Friend? Enemy? She only knew that so long as she clung to the hope that they would eventually find her, she wasn't completely lost. Had she ever known who they were? She hoped so.

Scrunching herself into as small a ball of wasting flesh and bone as was possible, she slowly rocked back and forth. The rocking was a comfort. It was the only comfort left to her.

Minutes? Hours? Possibly even days later the room filled with blinding light and jolted her from her fitful sleep. She untangled her arms and legs and crawled to the tiny metal grate set into the stone wall. A heavy mechanical grinding filled the air just before the grate drug aside. She scrambled through the opening on hands and knees knowing full well the repercussions of slowness.

The hallway outside her grate was filled with dozens more like her. No one spoke, the simply drew themselves up to stand against the wall, eyes averted, not acknowledging anyone or anything. Zombies.

The sharp clang of metal on metal rang out through the corridor followed by heavy footsteps. The guard's approach was unmistakable and more fraught with terror than anything else she had ever known – even the darkness. She had inadvertently drawn his attention too many times. It was her eyes that did it, he said that they changed shade with the intensity of her pain.

This time he wasn't alone. She heard the words he spoke without any inclination to understand their meaning although they seeped into her comprehension anyway.

"We provide a valuable service to the Fae community at large. Not only do we keep the factory running non-stop and at a very minimal cost but we also provide a depository for unwanted and discarded pets."

She heard a second voice hum noncommittally but even that did not give her cause enough to lift her head. What did she care who accompanied the dreaded guard? Sometimes she and the others would be rented out to Fae who would use and abuse them as they saw fit. The only guideline seemed to be that they couldn't be killed outright, nothing else was objectionable. She had been rented out frequently at first but as days slid into weeks and weeks into months her already slender frame became so gaunt and damaged her popularity began to diminish although it never died altogether.

The guard came to a stop in front of her and she could feel the terror creep up her arms and spine like so many icy fingers plucking at her tendons. She listened to him as he tapped his ever present metal rod against his palm.

"This one's always been a favorite of mine. It took a good long time to break it in but that just made it that much sweeter in the end." He chuckled darkly and she felt the tip of the rod prod at her chin. The electrodes she knew were embedded in the end of the modified weapon were the only reason she allowed herself to be bullied into lifting her head.

She raised her chin, her gaze leaving the guard's thick-soled boots and sliding up the wall. Although she had known the guard wasn't alone, she had not realized he had three others with him. She refused to focus her eyes on any of them and stared instead at the dingy wall directly across the hall from where she stood.

Another voice joined the guard's, "How much to... you know... put it down? It looks like it's barely on its last leg already."

Movement played in her periphery but she still would not focus her eyes. She knew of others who had been purchased to be put down, to be killed outright. Purchased to be extinguished. Others had tried to buy her from the guard for that exact purpose but he had always refused. He seemed to be more amenable to the idea this time around. Maybe, just maybe he'd agree this time. She could feel the corners of her mouth twitch into a ghost of a smile.

 **oOo**

Tamsin wanted nothing so much as to rip the greasy smile from the guard's face and cram it down his gullet. Biting back her almost unbearable urge to unleash everything she had on the guard, she turned her attention to the woman whose death they were seemingly so casually discussing.

Kenzi? Could it possibly be Kenzi? The eyes and height seemed right but nothing else did. Tamsin was having a great deal of trouble blending her memories of the talkative, optimistic, bouncy thief with the horrifically abused creature that stood in front of her. Skeletally thin, sickly pale, and so very quiet: Kenzi wasn't even a shadow of her old self.

The small smile that flickered across Kenzi's torn lips at the mention of being killed sent shock waves of fury and worry through Tamsin. One glance at Hale and Trick assured her that she hadn't been the only one to link Kenzi's smile to the comment about being put down.

Tamsin missed most of the details Trick made with the guard, she was too focused on Kenzi. She needed to get the human out of there before anything happened to destroy the purchase deal. Tamsin had to clench her hands together behind her back when the guard leaned close to Kenzi to whisper something in her ear causing a fresh wave of terror to blossom in her distant, unfocused eyes.

Tamsin tried to make eye contact with her, to give her some kind of assurance that despite everything she was going to be alright but Kenzi studiously avoided looking directly at any of them. It took every ounce of Tamsin's will power not to lash out at the guard and in the end it was Kenzi herself who convinced her to not kill the man – Kenzi who had been so badly used and who still managed to draw breath. However, she couldn't resist spreading a good deal of self-doubt through the grotesque man's head. Best case scenario – the slaves would rise up and kill him in a revolt. Worst case scenario – he would at least leave them alone for a while.

To her credit, Kenzi took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and with a soul-jarring shudder she followed them through the building. It wasn't until the four of them stood outside the dilapidated warehouse in the half-light of the stormy day that anyone dared breathe. Tamsin closed her eyes against the pouring rain for a moment and when she opened them again she simply watched as Kenzi tilted her head back and let the rain wash across her skin.

Tamsin was jarred. How long had it been since Kenzi had felt the rain? How long since she had seen the world outside the factory? Even the stinking, dirty alley was an improvement over what her life had been.

No one spoke – all eyes were focused on Kenzi. Hale was the first to move, gently touching her back and offering her support when her balance wavered and she would have tipped over backwards. Trick's eyes swam with unspoken emotion. Tamsin, for her part, felt a very real need to unleash a great deal of violence on someone. The only thing that stayed her hand was the worry that she would certainly upset Kenzi even further by giving into her base desires.

Kenzi showed no sign of recognizing them, not even Hale. Tamsin squashed her own disappointment with the understanding that Hale's must be even more devastating. After all, Tamsin was her friend but Hale was in love with her.

"Call Lauren," Trick finally managed to say in an almost normal voice. "Have her meet us at the Dal Riata." He continued to watch Kenzi closely although she stood motionless in the pouring rain. "Kenzi once found comfort there when she was ill. Perhaps she'll remember and be reassured."

Tamsin nodded and stepped aside out of the slanting rain. Taking shelter against a dumpster, she couldn't take her eyes off Kenzi as she waited for the doctor to pick up. A moment later her phone was back in her pocket. "She'll be there. I didn't tell her who or why we needed her, just that we did."

Trick nodded without comment.

"Kenzi?" It was the first thing Hale had said since they came face to face with her. He somehow managed to load the name with so much emotion that Tamsin was left reeling although Kenzi herself appeared not to have heard him at all. "Kenzi," Hale's voice was achingly soft, "we're going home." He dropped his gaze to her bare feet. "I don't want you to get hurt, lil' mama, so I'm going to help you get to the car. But I'll only help you as much as you want me to, no pressure. We'll taking everything at your pace." He hesitantly cupped her elbow in his hand and began to guide her down the alley and Tamsin followed slowly, trying to ignore the bloody footprints Kenzi left in her wake.

It took forever for them to navigate the obstacles in the alley and even longer to convince her to get into the car. No one wanted to push her too much or cause her any additional stress or fear and so they matched the speed of their movements with hers.

Lauren was already at the Dal Riata by the time Tamsin pushed open the door. Apparently the wait had only managed to irritate the good doctor. "Where have you been? When you called you said it was serious, had I realized you were..." Lauren sputtered to silence as Tamsin held open the door for Hale.

Kenzi had finally passed out in the car, allowing Hale to bundle her into his arms. He kept her head tucked under his chin as he carried her into the pub, past a suddenly silent Lauren, and down the stairs into Trick's private quarters.

Tamsin thought the doc might faint dead away herself. Instead, Lauren sagged bonelessly onto a bar stool and wordlessly accepted the glass Trick slipped into her hand. She downed the drink in a single gulp.

Trick poured Lauren another drink as well as one for himself. "For courage."

"Does Bo know ?"

Tamsin snagged Lauren's second drink. "Not yet. We wanted to check it out for ourselves first. There have been so many false leads..."

Lauren stood up and moved to follow Hale's path, snagging her medical bag as she went. "Yeah, three years of false leads and wild goose chases."

 _to be continued..._


	2. Chapter 2

The daydream was too good good to let slip away. She didn't know how but she'd finally managed to make her fantasies _feel_ real too but she wasn't going to question it too stringently. She felt as if she were bundled up in thick cotton batting, a thick fluffy cloud of warmth – she couldn't remember the last time she had felt any kind of warmth without it being directly linked to pain and suffering. Because of this, she refused to open her eyes lest reality come charging in. With a contented sigh she snuggled deeper into the comforting warmth.

There were sounds around her – hushed voices, the rustle of cloth, the light chink of china and glass – but she fought hard to remain hidden from them deep in her comfy cocoon. There was something almost familiar about the sounds but she refused to allow her thoughts to dwell on it. She worried that recognition would only bring more terror and pain.

She felt a sharp needle prick against her upper arm but refused to react in any way - she had learned to stifle any reaction because reacting appropriately only seemed to delight her captors. She did note that whoever it was that had her now was really lacking in the torture technique department. That little needle jab was absolutely pleasant compared to the life of torment she had been experiencing in the factory/hell hole she'd been confined to. Slowly, she could feel her thoughts slipping sideways and pulling her even more deeply into her dreams and she was quite content to allow them to do so. Her newest owners didn't really need her to be awake for their lame-ass attempt at hurting her anyway. Sleep sounded so good, even better than food.

 **oOo**

Tamsin stood at Kenzi's feet and watched Lauren closely, not knowing anything else she could do to protect Kenzi now that she'd been rescued. The doctor drew a shuddering breath and expelled it in a soft sigh. "Oh Kenzi."

Lauren kept her fingers wrapped loosely around Kenzi's wrist when she glanced up at Tamsin. "I'd rather her pulse be stronger but at least it's steady – steadier than mine is right now even." She smiled wryly and paused a beat, brushing her knuckles carefully against Kenzi's cheek. "We need to know exactly what we're dealing with so this exam is going to need to be thorough. The sedative I gave her, I...I don't want to add to her pain so I..."

"I get it, doc." They were all walking on egg shells.

Lauren took another shuddering breath. "Did she say anything about what's been done to her? Did she give you any clue?"

Tamsin started shaking her head before Lauren had even finished forming the first question and she scrubbed at her face with shaking hands to steady herself.

"Did she say who took her? Where she's been? Why they took her?" Lauren wouldn't give up.

Tamsin shook her head sharply. "No. She hasn't said anything – at all. Not one sound."

The doctor's forehead wrinkled but before she could ask another question, Hale spoke up.

"According to the guard she was real chatty when they first got her at the factory. You know how Kenzi can be with that attitude of hers... He said there were discussions among the directors about cutting out her tongue or severing her vocal cords but that, in the end, they decided it would be more...fun to just torture her into silence." Hale's voice was too even, too unemotional. "He said she doesn't even scream anymore, no matter how badly you hurt her. He offered to give us a demonstration but we turned him down."

Lauren was even paler than usual when she turned her attention back to her patient.

Tamsin stood as a silent sentry throughout the hours long exam. Hale remained standing close at hand right up until Lauren warned him that the examination was going to have to delve into more intimate locations. Tamsin watched him leave, the barely reigned in fury in the siren's eyes was a very palpable thing – she almost felt sorry for whoever it was that had snatched Kenzi. Almost. Hale might typically be easy going but whoever was responsible for Kenzi's condition would be suffering tremendously once they figured out who it was. Tamsin wanted nothing so much as to help Hale extract revenge.

Throughout the examination Lauren had taken notes – pages and pages of copious, detailed, horrific notes. With each page she filled, Tamsin's stomach dropped another inch lower in her gut. Just when she thought it was all nearly over, Lauren would discover another injury that would cause her frown to deepen.

Finally finished, Lauren set aside her tablet and closed up her medical bag before slumping back into the armchair she'd been perched on. Rubbing her eyes and combing her fingers through her hair, she rolled her head from side to side to relieve at least some of her tension. With a sigh, she rolled forward in the chair, gently patted Kenzi's hand, and stood up.

Tamsin had watched closely as Lauren alternately examined, cleansed, and bandaged the younger woman. She saw for herself the overlapping layers of scarring that seemed to cover every square inch of Kenzi's flesh. She saw the seeping, raw mass of tissue that passed for the soles of her feet, shuddering at the memory of Kenzi walking the length of that rain-soaked alley. She saw the tremors that shook Lauren's usually steady hands as more and more damage was uncovered.

Tamsin couldn't blame the doctor for being so affected by it – even after witnessing first hand the carnage of a thousand battles, Tamsin herself was having trouble accepting all that had happened to Kenzi. The young woman was far from perfect, but no one deserved even a small measure of the treatment she had endured for three very long years. It made Tamsin almost sad that she had survived it at all – death would likely have been a blessing.

"Has Bo been contacted yet?"

Tamsin shrugged. "I dunno. I've been here with you the whole time. Trick probably called her, don't you think? I wonder why she isn't here yet though..."

Lauren moved toward the stairs, throwing a look back over her shoulder at both Tamsin and Kenzi. "Tamsin?"

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here until she wakes up." She dropped down into the armchair Lauren had vacated, sprawling back against the upholstery to emphasize her meaning.

"Thanks." A sad smile flitted across the doctor's lips. "I'm going to go find Trick... and Hale. They should know at least some of what I've learned." Lauren stopped partway up the staircase. "She's going to make it, Tamsin. She's too stubborn not to."

Tamsin nodded mutely and settled in to wait. She wasn't planning on leaving Kenzi's side for a very long while. She wondered whether Lauren was trying to convince her of Kenzi's chances or trying to convince herself.

Kenzi was still sleeping some time later when Tamsin heard the way station's main door slam open and footsteps race across the floor overhead. Tamsin smirked and squeezed Kenzi's hand. "It's about time she got here," she murmured. "I don't really understand this bond between the two of you but I envy it. I've never had a friend who would give up as much as Bo has these last three years when she was trying to find you. Bo may have that sexy succubus vibe working for her but it's you who draws that kind of undying loyalty. You're special, Kenzi." She huffed a soft laugh. "Hell, you've even got my loyalty and I've never been loyal to anyone but myself."

Almost as soon as the ruckus began upstairs, Lauren and Hale descended the stairs into Trick's living space, their faces masks of seriousness. Tamsin could hear Trick's distinctive footsteps overhead as he moved to intercept his granddaughter and likely try to calm her a little before showing her where Kenzi lay recuperating. Lauren and Hale positioned themselves between the couch where Kenzi still slept and the staircase, creating a very physical barrier between her and the rest of the world. Tamsin wondered if it was a conscious maneuver or just instinctive. Whichever it was didn't make any difference to Tamsin, all that mattered was that Kenzi was safe and protected.

Waiting for Bo to make her appearance, Tamsin reached out and caught a lock of Kenzi's hair between her fingers. She had spent her time waiting at Kenzi's side working on righting the mess her hair and nails had become. She had gently eased the snarls and tangles from the strands and washed away years of grime and filth. She had even managed to scrounge up a bowl from Trick's shelves and a towel from a stack of clean laundry. Now Kenzi's hair lay clean, dry, combed and rippling across the pillow she reclined against. A nail file had been procured from Lauren's purse and what finger and toe nails Kenzi still had intact were trimmed and smoothed.

She could hear their voices – Trick, Bo, and Dyson – but couldn't make out more than a few words of what was said. Lauren, who was positioned nearer the stairs, seemed to understand more and allowed her stance to relax slightly. Surely if the doc was relaxing a bit it was a good sign.

Tamsin gently took Kenzi's hand between hers and massaged her chilled fingers. She had spent a good deal of time since Lauren's examination was finished trying to warm Kenzi up. Every blanket and quilt Trick possessed had been piled on top of the patient until Tamsin worried the weight would be too much for her to handle. Now it seemed to only be her fingers and toes that remained cool to the touch. Tamsin leaned closer to Kenzi – she didn't care that Bo was Kenzi's best friend, there was no force in either the Fae or human worlds that was going to oust her from her spot.

The atmosphere in the room shifted dramatically as footsteps quickly descended the stairs. Tamsin watched them hurry to close the distance to Kenzi but as soon as they came within view of the couch, both Bo and Dyson froze. Yeah, Tamsin could understand that reaction too. All anyone seemed to want to do was envelop Kenzi in a bone-crushing hug and never let her go but once they got a good look at her they were all terrified of accidentally scaring or hurting her anymore than she already had been. She looked so frail and broken – she _was_ so frail and broken.

"Oh god, no. No, no, no..." the litany of denial fell from Bo's lips even as she dropped down on the other side of Kenzi from Tamsin. "Kenzi..." Ever so carefully, she took up Kenzi's free hand, gently pressing the fingers to her own cheek and closing her eyes against the tears that began to pool in them.

"Doc sedated her so she wouldn't have to be conscious during the exam. She hasn't woken back up yet." Tamsin continued to stroke Kenzi's other hand.

Slowly opening her eyes, Bo looked away from her newly recovered friend for only a second. "Is she...?"

Lauren rescued Tamsin from having to answer. "She's beyond bad. She's in a horrific state, actually. I'm really not sure how she managed to survive for so long. I'd have to say that just the fact that she's still alive is a testament to her strength and will power. Bo, with everything that was done to her, everything she had to endure, she should be dead a dozen times over. Recovery is not going to be easy for her by any stretch of the imagination but it'll be a walk in the park compared to her last three years." Lauren squeezed Bo's shoulder. "She's going to need all the support we can give her and I promise that I'll help her every step of the way but she's going to need professional psychotherapy as well as physical therapy. There's no way she'll get through this without a lot of help - both friends and professionals. I know a few psychiatrists who might be able to help her."

Bo's eyes never left Kenzi's face. "Thank you."

"Of course. I'm going to go upstairs and make a few phone calls."

"She's a lot tougher than she looks," Dyson commented, breaking his self-imposed silence. "I don't know why but it surprises me every time. The foot soup, the Norn, the Garuda... She's going to pull through this too. No one stops Kenzi except Kenzi – how often has she proven that to us all?"

Tamsin silently agreed with his assessment. Kenzi was tiny and petite in appearance but she was fierce and tough as nails underneath that alabaster skin. She just hoped Kenzi's mind hadn't been irreparably harmed. She prayed to anyone who would listen that they had not lost Kenzi completely.

 _to be continued..._


	3. Chapter 3

She thought that maybe she was dying. Finally. It sure as hell had taken her body long enough to finally give up the fight and just throw in the towel, wave the white flag, whatever. Still, she wasn't positive that was the case and so she decided it might be wise to work out what details she could manage before she mentally staked her claim one way or the other.

First of all, she wasn't cold any more – not just everyday run of the mill warm either but lounging-in-a-bikini-on-a-white-sand-beach-in-the-Bahamas warm. Second, she wasn't hurting as much which totally kicked ass since, for once in a very long time, it didn't feel like someone had totally kicked _her_ ass. Third, the glorious smells of food wafted on the air: meaty and cheesy and mega-wat scrumptious food that made her mouth water and her stomach do somersaults in jubilant expectation – the wonderful foodie smells could only be improved upon by being scrumtabulous foodie tastes.

Yep, she was dying, or possibly already had died.

She could feel fingers gently touching her. Barely there touches that didn't immediately make her tremble with terror. In the dim recesses of her brain was the notion that whoever it was that had her now was just lulling her into a false sense of security so they could crush her spirit all the more when they killed her. She didn't want to listen to those niggling fears but, based on experiences, they were all too real possibilities. And seriously, who was she kidding? Her spirit was already destroyed. There was nothing anyone could do to restore what had already been mangled beyond all recognition.

She wanted to open her eyes and see if she was really dead or not, not that she was sure what an afterlife would look like beyond being relatively sure it wouldn't have pearly gates and golden streets. She wasn't even sure she believed in an afterlife at all. Even so, she wanted to know something of her surroundings. Bracing herself as much as she could manage without actually moving, she cracked one eye open enough to peek out at the limited world around her.

Soft light illuminated an oddly, vaguely familiar room. From her position she could make out a few pieces of furniture, stacks of books, some homey odds and ends... there were also people. People she had no desire to focus on. Obstinately ignoring anything that might have a pulse, she surveyed the things that filled the space. She couldn't shake the feeling of familiarity. Narnia. Where the hell had _that_ came from? The afterlife wasn't really supposed to look like the plush set of a period children's movie, was it?

The people she didn't want to acknowledge kept moving around and invading her field of vision, not to mention her personal space. They kept touching her with their cool fingers – strange fingers lingering on her hand, her wrist, her arm, her neck, her face, her head, her shoulder, nearly everywhere... Kind, gentle touches that still made her skin crawl with fearful anticipation. If they would just stop touching her she'd be a lot happier chilling out in Narnia surrounded by musty old books and vintage wood paneling.

The ignored people were talking softly among themselves, seemingly unaffected by her refusal to acknowledge them. Even had she wanted to hear their words, she doubted she could have. Their worried voices kept getting tangled in the fluffy bundle of spun silk floss that was currently residing in her skull in the place ordinarily relegated for her brain. Her head felt heavy with the weight of all those things she was adamantly working so hard to ignore. She imagined they were like so many flies caught in a spider's web and bundled up in gossamer threads to be absorbed at a later date.

Content to wait out whatever was to come, she allowed herself to relax back into the cushioned softness beneath her. Still ignoring the people around her, she continued to peek out at the inanimate objects in her direct line of sight.

 **oOo**

Tamsin wondered if she should point out to the rest of the room the fact that Kenzi was awake. Clearly, Kenzi wasn't interested in alerting anyone to her own wakefulness and so Tamsin elected to remain silent herself for the time being. She sat silent, watching and waiting – she'd already done quite a bit of that over the past three years, a little longer wouldn't hurt any of them and hopefully it _would_ help Kenzi.

Bo had stationed herself at Kenzi's side much as the Valkyrie had. From the first moment sitting next to the petite Russian, Bo had refused to let go of her hand. Even as she drowsed fitfully, as she now did, she rested her head near Kenzi's shoulder and clasped her hand between both of her own. They were all of them afraid of losing her again. Bo even more so than any of the rest.

Tamsin had no doubt that Bo would have noticed Kenzi's was no longer sleeping had the succubus not fallen into her own exhausted doze. She figured the least she could do was keep watch over them both. Settling in, she propped her chin in her hand and refused to allow her eyes to drift shut.

"There are some supplies I'll need in order to continue treating her beyond the rudimentary first aid I already administered. Some of them will be easy enough to acquire, others...I'll need to find a clinic or a mobile imaging company to provide some assistance. The Fae community has some available to them, it's just a matter of finding one who will be willing to help treat a human." Lauren had already begun compiling a list, a very extensive list from what Tamsin could see. "The medicines we need to begin administering as soon as possible, the rest can wait a day or so but I'd rather get started on her treatments as soon as possible. We have a lot of lost time to make up for. Unfortunately, I have to get back to my lab but I'll return this afternoon to check on Kenzi."

Trick accepted the list, casting a worry-filled look Kenzi's way.

"What can we do?" Hale had been ever-present and rose to his feet, crossing the distance to where Lauren was gathering her things in preparation to depart.

"Be patient. She's going to need as much patience as we can muster and then some." Lauren placed her hand on Kenzi's head, smoothing her hair gently. "This is going to be a long process but, if there's anything of the real Kenzi left in her, it's not impossible."

"And if the real Kenzi, our Kenzi, is gone?" Dyson questioned.

Lauren swallowed. "Then we make her as comfortable as possible and learn about the new Kenzi."

Dyson and Hale nodded, returning to their places as Lauren briefly made eye contact with Tamsin. Tamsin, for her part, thought that if anyone should know their patient was it awake it would be the doctor and she was relieved to see the flicker of unnamed emotion spark in Lauren's eye as her attention lighted on Kenzi once more.

Lauren glanced back at Tamsin, mouthing the words she wanted to speak. "Is she?"

A quick nod confirmed Lauren's suspicion.

"For how long?" Lauren's whisper was so soft Tamsin nearly missed hearing her.

She shrugged "A little few minutes maybe, not much longer than that though. She doesn't seem to want us to know."

"She probably feels safer that way. It's at least a modicum of control that I doubt she was allowed to wield in the last three years." Lauren sighed deeply – they'd all been doing a lot of that recently. "Kenzi? Kenzi, honey, do you know where you are?" She delicately touched Kenzi's cheek, turning her head just enough so that she had no choice but look at the doctor – or shut her eyes. "Kenzi..."

Tamsin watched as pale blue eyes drifted fully open, staring unseeing at Lauren. There was no emotion, no soul or spirit behind that empty gaze. Tamsin could only hope she'd successfully managed to stuff it down beneath layers of self-protection rather than have lost it completely.

"Kenzi," Lauren repeated once again, caressing her cheek in an attempt to lure her out of her shell. Lauren's voice drew Bo's notice, even if Kenzi continued to ignore her.

Bo roused, her hand tightening on Kenzi's. "Lauren?"

"She's awake but I don't know how alert she is yet. The sedative is probably still pretty strong in her system. She is however, incredibly stubborn, sedated or not."

"That's our Kenzi." Bo smiled.

Kenzi seemed to respond to Bo's voice. Her fingers twitched and her heart rate increased causing the portable heart monitor to follow suit – beeping out an ever-increasing, somewhat erratic tempo.

"Kenzi?" Bo's expression darkened as Kenzi's breathing became as erratic as her beating heart. "Lauren!" Bo caught Kenzi when she suddenly moved to lunge from the couch, feeling her friend begin to hyperventilate as she pressed Kenzi's face into the crook of her neck. Automatically, she wrapped her arms around her.

Tamsin moved with Kenzi, catching up the mound of displaced blankets and quickly bundling one back around her. She'd worked too hard to warm the tiny Russian woman to have her ruin it all now. "Is this a good sign? I can't tell if she's trying to hug Bo or attack her."

Lauren stood dumbfounded. "I have no idea but her breathing seems to be improving and her heart rate is slowing back down gradually. Surely it's a good sign."

Bo smoothed the mussed hair from Kenzi's face. "If the death grip she's got on my waist is any indication, I'm pretty certain she's not trying to launch a one-woman assault."

Everyone in the room had sprung to life with Kenzi's sudden movement. Still unsure of her intent, Hale and Dyson were slow to return to their seats but Trick approached his granddaughter and her best friend.

"This is a very good sign. Buried somewhere deep inside she still remembers your voice as something to cling to, something that won't cause her any harm."

Bo tightened her grip and awkwardly transferred herself and Kenzi both to the couch while Tamsin readjusted pillows and blankets – she needed something to keep bust with, to disguise the fact that her hands were shaking. Kenzi's entire desperate act to get to Bo's protective embrace had been completely silent. Even her distressed breathing had been without any real noise.

"Are you sure she can talk? What if the guard lied?"

 _to be continued..._


	4. Chapter 4

Safe?

Home?

Love?

Kindness?

She wasn't sure exactly why but suddenly she was filled to overflowing with those thoughts. She wasn't even certain she understood the meanings of those words anymore. As much as she wanted to block out the people among whom she found herself, this one seemed to bring to the forefront of her thoughts only happiness, calmness, and peace.

Happiness...how long had it been since she had last felt that fleeting emotion? She truly had no idea. All she knew for certain was that she had no intention of letting go. She didn't care anymore how many people milled around her speaking in their not-quite-understandable words just as long as she could stay exactly where she was, as she was.

 **oOo**

"It's hard to be sure until we can get her to actively work with us. Her experiences are so deeply ingrained it's just going to be a matter of waiting it out and learning for certain." Lauren moved a few steps away. "If you're certain you'll be alright..."

"Yes, Lauren. Thank you so much for everything," Bo reassured her, settling more comfortably into the couch with Kenzi. "This is the best I've felt in a long time. We'll be okay."

Lauren nodded. "If there are any changes, let me know."

"Got you on speed dial, doc." Hale quirked a small grin.

With Lauren's departure, Trick followed her up the stairs with a comment about finding something for their patient to eat that wouldn't make her sick.

"Dyson?"

He met Bo's gaze evenly.

"Back at my place...I never touched Kenzi's room. She has all of her clothes there, just the way they were when she disappeared. Maybe Tamsin could go with you and find something for her to wear. Something familiar."

Tamsin nodded. During the doctor's examination, they had removed what had passed for clothes on the young woman although it had been little more than threadbare rags and thick with grime. At the time, Tamsin had wondered if it was the same clothing she had been wearing when she was taken but after three years it was too difficult to tell.

"Of course." He rose soundlessly and Tamsin followed suit, pressing a hand to the back of Kenzi's head before she ascended the stairs.

Tamsin and Dyson were halfway to Bo's, having decided Tamsin's truck was more appropriate for their errand than Dyson's motorcycle, when he finally spoke up. Tamsin had been waiting for the questions to start and was ready.

"How did you find her? It's been so long since we heard anything that even sounded remotely like a lead. I had given up." He stared straight ahead.

Tamsin shrugged. "It was pure luck. A Fae I brought in to the Morrigan at her request tried to buy his way out of her bad graces with some information."

"The Morrigan helped?"

Tamsin snorted softly. "No, I was in the room when he started to spill the beans. It sounded like a possible lead and the Morrigan owed me a favor so she let it slip."

"Did it work the way he wanted?"

Another snort. "Last I saw, he was being drug away to the dungeons. She was probably pissed that she was put into the position of giving into that owed favor."

Dyson almost smiled.

"Here we are." She threw the truck into park and hopped down onto the gravel.

The clubhouse was quiet. Tamsin had never been able to get used to the silence since Kenzi had disappeared on them. It just seemed too unnatural when she had grown accustomed to the noise that always seemed to follow Kenzi around no matter where she was or how quiet she tried to be. She climbed the stairs, pushing aside the veil of memories that threatened to suffocate her.

Bo had been right, Kenzi's room looked like the young woman had just stepped out – there wasn't even any dust. Somehow Tamsin was relatively sure Bo had been in this space on at least a weekly basis for three years now - it certainly didn't dust itself. She pulled open drawers until she located what she was looking for, shoving clothes into a knapsack she found. Shaking her head sadly, she closed the bag. "This stuff isn't even going to fit her anymore..."

"We'll fatten her up."

"Oh yeah, wolfie? Planning on baking her into a pie?" Kenzi's old nickname for Dyson slipped easily from her tongue and she even found herself biting back a smile.

Dyson grinned, sliding down to sit on the edge of the bed. "I gave up on ever finding her. How can she forgive me for that?"

Tamsin drug in a shuddering breath. "The same way she'll forgive me for hoping she was dead. I knew she would never leave on her own without leaving some kind of note or explanation. I knew that she had to have been abducted. I knew how she would likely be treated. I hoped she had died early on because I didn't want her to have to suffer for long." She shook her head. "Now I just hope she'll recover. Maybe she'll be able to forgive me, maybe not. But even if she doesn't, at least I know she's safe and being taken care of."

"You're right."

"Besides, if our Kenzi's still in there, you know she'll forgive us both. I don't think the girl knows how to hold a grudge against anyone who isn't a blood relative." She shouldered the bag and turned to leave the room. "We should probably get a change of clothes for Bo too. I don't think she'll be leaving the Dal anytime soon."

 **oOo**

It seemed quieter and she wanted to figure out why. There weren't so many voices speaking and the air seemed not as heavy as it had before. Moving her head only as much as she needed to in order to peek out, she cracked open one eye again.

She was still Narnia, which was okay by her, but most of the people who had persisted in invading her line of sight earlier were missing, which was awesome. The fewer the people, the better so far as she was concerned. Maybe since there were so few of them remaining, it would be okay to focus on them at least for a second or two. The one she had attached herself to, she couldn't see from her position so she let her focus fall on the one who sat nearby.

It was a man, that worried her a bit although he didn't seem to be threatening. Actually he seemed just a little bit familiar in a vague way. Maybe she'd seen him from one of the tours the factory sometimes conducted to show off their cheap workforce. Or maybe she'd seen him at one of the parties she'd been rented for... She pulled her thoughts back up from the deep pit they had begun to sink into. Don't wanna think about that, not now, not ever.

She heard words being spoken, saw the man lift his head and allowed him to make eye-contact just for a moment before letting her gaze slip away. She knew the words had come from the person who held her, could feel the vibration against her cheek, but it was the man who said the one word that managed to struggle through the cotton in her head.

"Kenzi?"

She didn't know why that word would mean anything to her, or why he seemed to expect it to mean anything to her. It seemed, upon further reflection, she'd heard that word spoken a lot since waking up in Narnia. Kenzi. Yep, nada.

There was noise coming from overhead. It sounded like people walking, not too many people from what she could tell, and so she allowed her eye to stay open. She even shifted a little more so that both eyes could be open. She felt the person she had attached herself to shift to accommodate her. She still had her arms wrapped solidly around the person's waist and could feel their arms squeeze just a little around her shoulders.

They were back, slowly coming into her field of vision. She shrunk back just a little but not enough that she couldn't see clearly. Three people, one woman and two men. One of the men had a bowl of something in his hands that smelled suspiciously like food...

 **oOo**

"Colcannon," Trick said simply, setting the bowl down on an end table. "My mother used to make it to ward of the winter's chill. I checked with Lauren, she said it should be alright. It's just potatoes and cabbage. I thought that Kenzi might like it."

"I think she'd like anything these days. No offense to your cooking, Trick." Tamsin dropped the knapsack she'd carried in next to the couch.

Trick smiled. "None taken."

"Maybe..." Bo cast a meaningful look at the bag next to the couch.

"We'll be upstairs," Hale offered, following Dyson and Trick back up the stairs. "I think I could use a drink, barkeep."

"I know I could," Dyson agreed.

With all the males absent, Tamsin knelt down and was surprised to see two bright blue eyes watching her. "Hey, Kenz," she murmured. "Getting curious, huh?"

"She's been getting a little braver since you left," Bo admitted with a smile. "They couldn't destroy that insatiable curiosity of yours, could they, Kenz?" She rubbed her hands across the blanket that was draped over her back.

Tamsin smiled and took a deep breath. "Look, I was here when Lauren looked her over." She shook her head slowly. "It's not going to be easy to see for me and I'm prepared..."

Bo nodded. "If Kenzi survived it, I can stand seeing the results."

"Alright," Tamsin sighed, cocking her head an pulling out a handful of soft fabric from the bag. "We picked up some clean clothes for you too."

"Thanks."

It took close to an hour, slowly maneuvering Kenzi enough so that they could replace the blanket with real clothes and trying no to scare her too much. It was an agonizing experience, not just for Tamsin but also for Bo. Tamsin watched the horror dawn in Bo's eyes as they very slowly worked to help Kenzi but Bo succeeded in remaining calm for her friend despite the anger that grew by leaps and bounds behind her expression. They both spoke to Kenzi throughout the process, offering words of praise and encouragement to cover their own sickening despair.

When they were done, Tamsin sat back on her heels and watched Kenzi snuggle back into Bo's side. "I need a drink." She was halfway up the stairs when Bo called her back.

"What's up?"

"Tamsin, I can never repay you. I don't even know how to thank you. Hale told me how you found her, where you got the information."

Gratitude never sat well with her, especially when it was directed at her. It made her uneasy. "Just make sure she's safe now that we've got her back." She grinned. "How about you? Want me to bring you back something stronger than a glass of water."

"Please," all of Bo's stress seemed to pour out into the single word.

"No problem."

 _to be continued..._


	5. Chapter 5

She slowly and painstakingly worked to pull the ends of the long sleeves down over her hands, gripping them tightly in her fists even as she clung to her living lifeline. The material that lay against her skin so entirely was soft and warm and very nearly unbearably painfully comfortable when compared to everything she had recently known. She had forgotten how pleasant something so simple could be although she had a fleeting memory of having felt just as warm and protected at some point long ago. The blanket had been bundled back over her and between the soft, woolly warmth of the blanket combined with the body warmth of her anchor worked quickly to ward off the last of her chill. She snuggled contentedly, a gentle sigh escaping her lips soundlessly.

For a short time, she was alone in Narnia with only her anchor, as she had decided to refer to the person she clung to, for company and she preferred it that way compared to the commotion of all the many people milling around and invading her sight and space. Her anchor didn't move around too much and when they did move it was slow and measured and didn't scare her. She was able to relax at least a little more. Relax a bit but not let her guard down. She would never let her guard down completely, it was just too dangerous to even contemplate.

One at a time, people started filing back into the room. They were quiet so it didn't bother her too much although she did squeeze a little further into the space between her anchor and the couch. The woman returned carrying a tray of glasses, all filled with liquids of varying shades – it was a rainbow of beverages. The woman set the drinks next to the bowl that had been left on the end table earlier and she lifted her head a little to peer toward the refreshments. It was more food than she had seen in one place in longer than she could remember.

She tried to listen to the voices that softly filled the void of the room. More and more words managed to wriggle their way through the filter in her head but she still couldn't make out enough to understand what they were saying. Part of her wished she could, but the bigger part of her was too afraid. She thought maybe that was the part that was holding back most of what was being said.

She tried to focus on individual words. Maybe that would be easier than trying to understand everything that was being said. Maybe a few identifiable words would give her some clue as to what was going on and who these strange people were.

 ** **oOo****

"Are you getting hungry, Kenz?"

Bo eased their patient into something loosely resembling a seated position and gently maneuvered her hands so that they lay in her lap, empty and limp. Tamsin pushed back Kenzi's sleeves to expose her hands, ignoring the layers of scar tissue the motion revealed, and turned away to get the food Kenzi so desperately needed. It was too much like dealing with a life-sized Kenzi-doll, one that the manufacturer had cut corners with and used way too little stuffing.

Trick lifted the plate that had served as a makeshift lid, allowing the earthy scent of homemade colcannon to waft even stronger in the air. Handing Tamsin the bowl and spoon, he patted her fondly on the shoulder. "It'll get easier," he promised.

Tamsin wanted to know, "For us or for her?"

"For us all."

"Here you go, Kenzi. One bowl of comfort food a' la Trick," Bo's voice sounded much more excited about the meal than her expression showed. "Maybe we can convince him to whip up some borscht once your stomach is up to the challenge. And later on we'll order you a pizza - maybe even have it delivered by your favorite actor/delivery guy."

Tamsin smiled in what she hoped was an encouraging manner and set the bowl in Kenzi's hands. Maybe having control of the food would help to turn the tide on her recovery. Discouraged when Kenzi simply sat still and stared down into the bowl, Tamsin glanced up at Bo whose expression was just as clouded as she was certain her own was.

"Here, Kenz, let me help you with that," Bo gently murmured, lifting the spoon awkwardly.

"I've got it." Tamsin snagged the spoon from Bo's loose grip and smiled at Kenzi again – this time she was fairly sure her expression was far more worried than cheerful. "Want some?"

Kenzi opened her mouth a little as Tamsin lifted the spoon, accepting a small amount of what was loaded onto the bowl of the spoon. She chewed slowly and finally swallowed. Tamsin ducked her head low enough to finally be able to make eye contact with Kenzi. She waited as Kenzi gradually looked away from the food and met her gaze briefly.

"Do you want some water?" She gripped a small juice glass in her hand, only half filled to accommodate Kenzi's current extremely limited capabilities.

Kenzi gently slid her hands out from under the bowl, letting it rest on her lap and delicately took the glass from Tamsin's grasp. She had to use both hands to keep it steady but managed to tilt it to her cracked lips without dousing herself in the process.

"Just take it easy, Kenzi. Small sips. I promise to grant you free unlimited use of the top shelf after you pull through this but just small sips of water right now," Trick said. He had been hovering near the couch ever since they had all come back down stairs.

Whether or not she understood him was unclear but she only took tiny sips nonetheless, offering the glass back to Tamsin before she had even drunk a quarter of it.

"Sounds like a dream come true for you, Kenzi. All the free top shelf drinks you want," Dyson commented. "You'd better start stocking up now, Trick, or you'll be out of business as soon as she's back on her feet."

"I hope so," was Trick's only response.

"Do you want to try the spoon yourself?" Bo helped her wrap her fingers around the utensil, guiding it back to her mouth.

Eating proved to be just as slow a process as everything else had been. By the time she pushed away the bowl and glass for good, all the water and half the colcannon were gone. It hadn't been a tidy process and the spoon had been discarded early on in preference to her fingers but no one mentioned the lack of etiquette.

After gently cleaning her face and fingers with a damp cloth Trick offered, Bo settled back against the couch. Tamsin watched as Kenzi's eyes began to drift closed. "Did we just drug her again?"

"It was Lauren's idea." Trick gathered up the spent dishes and made a quick exit.

"I wouldn't call it drugging her but Trick is sneaky. I also wouldn't suggest trying any of the colcannon in Kenzi's bowl. Those medicines Lauren said we needed to get Kenz started on right away? We crushed up a double dose and mixed it in with the food, but they were mostly antibiotics and a pain killer – nothing to really put her to sleep. That's probably just the full belly." Hale watched Kenzi intently as he provided the answer.

Kenzi had wriggled herself into a ball, her face turned away from the room and her head resting in Bo's lap. She clutched Bo's shirt in her tense fingers. Bo combed her fingers through the younger woman's hair, pausing after a few strokes.

"She's missing patches of hair."

Tamsin had noticed the same thing earlier. "Part of it's from the starvation, not all of it but part of it." She met Bo's gaze evenly. "There is a spot just over her left ear that was obviously ripped out recently. I saw it when I was washing her hair." Tamsin grimaced. "She's missing some finger and toe nails too."

"Recently?"

Tamsin shrugged. "Some." She watched Bo close her eyes but not before she saw them grow bright with tears. "Umm... Her feet, beneath the bandages... Someone's going to have to carry her around for a while. There's no way she should be on her feet."

"What happened to her feet?" Dyson was standing again, his hard stare directed fully on Tamsin, who brushed it off easily enough. She could feel the waves of pent up fury that ran through his veins.

"You'd have to check with the doctor to be sure but it looks like the skin was flayed off her soles." She swallowed thickly. "It was one of the training and encouragement procedures they demonstrated when we first got to the factory."

Bo's expression did not hide her repulsion. "Training and encouragement procedures?"

"Yeah, that's what the guard called it. And really, torture is too nice a word to describe what I saw going on in there." She scrubbed at her arms with her hands in a vain attempt to ward off the chill of disgust the memories of the factory brought back to her mind. She didn't think she'd ever be able to forget what she had born witness to – even into her next lifetime.

Bo kept smoothing her hand over Kenzi's hair and Tamsin wondered if the succubus even realized she hadn't stopped touching Kenzi since she entered Trick's home. She cast her gaze at the two men remaining in the room. Trick had kept himself busy upstairs but Hale and Dyson still remained, stony faced and silent.

"Come on, boys. Let's give these two a few minutes alone." She didn't miss the small smile Bo shot her way.

Trick had decided to keep the pub closed for the time being in deference to his new guest and so it was blessedly empty and quiet at the bar. Tamsin stretched across the counter and pulled out a bottle and three glasses. She filled them and lifted her own into the air.

"To Kenzi."

Hale and Dyson joined her toast and drained their glasses just as quickly as she had filled them.

"I wouldn't have taken you for the sentimental type, valkyrie," Dyson said softly.

Tamsin shrugged again. "It's Kenzi."

Hale nodded. "And that makes all the difference."

"It does," she admitted.

They drank the bottle dry, discussing how to arrange for Kenzi's round-the-clock protection as well as deciding on a few details as to how to handle Kenzi's abductor once it was discovered who was to blame. First, however, was the topic of the factory they had freed her from and what could be done to put it out of commission.

"You know Bo's going to want to be involved with destroying the factory," Tamsin warned.

"And we know she's not going to leave Kenzi's side anytime soon," Hale answered. "That place needs to be burnt to the ground - with the guards locked inside. Immediately if not sooner."

Dyson drug his hand across his face. "Bo will survive. We just won't tell her until it's done."

Tamsin wrinkled her forehead. "The bigger problem is all those people they have in there. They're no better off than Kenzi. We can't just liberate them and leave them to fend for themselves, it would be no better than leaving them in there - they'd die."

"There's also the little problem of the factory being dark. The Morrigan might object to loosing her little profitable venture." Hale, ever the voice of reason...Tamsin glared at him.

 _to be continued..._


	6. Chapter 6

**The next time she opened her eyes she noticed how much better her head felt. The cottony fuzz seemed to have been corralled for the time being and sounds were much clearer than they had been in a very long time. Some of the words that had been caught up in the spider web of floss that previously filled her skull bounced freely in her head now, anxious to be acknowledged. She thought that if she was going to start trying to make any sense out of what was going on around her, she had better start trying to figure it all out now.**

 **Ranking the words she could remember in terms of how often she thought they had been said, she created a mental list. First was** ** _Kenzi_** **which she was almost convinced was a name more than a word, or perhaps some weird title or endearment – whatever it was, she was relatively sure it was what they were using to refer to her. Second was** ** _safe_** **which she vaguely knew the definition for** ** _–_** **it was just something she had experienced very little of in the recent past. Third was** ** _home_** **which was also vague in her memory but not so vague that the place she was in now brought it to mind, in her thoughts of home she saw somewhere with questionable walls, mismatched furnishings, and discolored floorboards.** ** _Help_** **also ranked up there rather high and seemed to be exactly what these people were providing her with. Lastly, there was the word** ** _love_** **, something she felt she might actually be able to grasp at long last.**

 **If truth be told, it was less the words that called to her than the voices that uttered them. Familiar voices, known voices with well-known tones and intonations. They wrapped her up in those long lost feelings of comfort she had given up on ever feeling again despite her brain's best attempts to convince her that she would be rescued one day. She knew these voices. She knew they could be trusted. But the voice that drew her in the most was the voice of the woman she knew she was snuggling against – her anchor in a giant swelling sea of unknowns and not-quite-remembered things. There was a tiny niggling feeling at the very back of her brain that wanted to put a name to that particular voice. But no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't recall what that name might be.**

 **The room was sparsely populated, just a few of the people who had been milling about before remained plus another woman with fair hair and a white coat. She seemed to recall having seen her when she first found herself in this room, just before she fell asleep but before she had been given food – in that in-between and highly unsettling time when she was still relatively sure she was still going to be killed soon. She was feeling more and more certain she might have been wrong about their original intentions The woman knelt down next to the bed, her hand wrapped gently around her wrist. This time, she didn't try to block out what she said.**

 **"** **Well, your pulse is stronger. That's an improvement. And you said she ate something?"**

 **Another voice from across the room responded, "Colcannon. We mixed in the medicines so I don't know for certain that she got the right dosage. I didn't want to try forcing her to take a handful of pills under the circumstances."**

 **"** **No, that's fine. Right now, anything is better than nothing. And you're right, we don't want to cause her any additional fear or worry if we can help it." The woman made eye contact with her and smiled. "You seem to be feeling a little more at ease, Kenzi. I'm glad to see it. The more you can rest, the faster your body can heal. I'm really looking forward to you driving us crazy again. It's been too long."**

 **She just watched the woman evenly. Most of what she said made sense, just not in any way that she could relate to immediately. In an attempt to keep the woman happy, she nodded slightly. Just a ducking of her chin but it seemed to cause the woman's face to brighten perceptively.**

 **The woman patted her hand, letting her wrist go gently. "We've still got a long road ahead of us but we're starting off on the right foot, I think." She rose up to her feet. "You get some more rest and I'll be back in the morning to check on you again." She started to move away but paused, tears glistening in her eyes. "I'm so glad you're back with us, Kenzi. You'll never know how glad I am."**

 **She nodded again, keeping her eyes on the woman. She had no clue as to why the woman seemed to be so moved, but let it slide with all the other things she simply did not understand.**

 **"** **I miss hearing her voice."**

 **That was the voice of her anchor and she snuggled just a little closer. She sounded lost, saddened by the words she spoke. She wished she could do something to ease her in the same way the woman's voice gave her reassurance. She wished she could but the fear was just too great.**

 **"** **But we have her now. We can see her, know she's alive and recuperating. We know she isn't being hurt anymore. We'll just have to accept that for now. Perhaps her voice will return soon."**

 **oOo**

 **Tamsin glared at the screen on her desk. She was back at the station pouring through piles of information she Hale and Dyson had managed to gather on their little side job. The factory had to go. It wasn't enough that they had freed Kenzi, they needed to put it out of commission and get the others out now. She would deal with the Morrigan's displeasure when it came and in whatever form it would take.**

 **She'd been sitting at her desk for a while now having left the Dal just after Kenzi had fallen asleep again. It had been so difficult to watch her slowly work her way through the bowl of food and Tamsin had needed something to distract her, something to focus on besides how very damaged the young woman was. Work, even if it wasn't exactly one of her assigned cases, seemed like as a good a choice as any.**

 **She was distracted by a coffee cup being plunked down next to her hand and glanced up into Hale's eyes. "Thanks."**

 **Hale nodded and drug up a chair to settle into. "How are you doing?"**

 **The question confused Tamsin. "I'm fine. I'm not the one who was held captive and tortured for three years." She kept her voice low so as not to attract the attention of the others who filled the room around them.**

 **"** **Yeah. Me either. I've spent the last few years safe and sound, well fed and comfortable, but I'm not fine and neither are you."**

 **Tamsin smirked. "Okay. I'm doing better than Kenzi. How's that?"**

 **Hale quirked his eyebrows. "Trick called. She's awake again. He said she even nodded at something Lauren said when she stopped by to check in on her." He rubbed at his eyes with his hands. "He said it wasn't a big nod but it was intentional. She's going to come back to us."**

 **"** **Of course she is, it's Kenzi."**

 **"** **No matter how many times we say that, it's still the truth." Hale remained silent for a beat. "I may have an idea about how to take down the factory."**

 **"** **You wanna tell me about it?"**

 **Hale surveyed the room quickly. "Not yet. Let me check up on a few details and then I'll fill you in. I was just about to grab a bite to eat before I stopped by the Dal to see Kenzi. Want to join me?"**

 **Tamsin stared down into the cup of coffee Hale had brought her, it was the first thing she'd even thought about putting in her stomach since they had formulated their escape plan for rescuing Kenzi. She took a sip, knowing she wouldn't be doing anyone any good if she passed out from low blood sugar. Especially not Kenzi. "Sure. You're paying, right?"**

 **Hale grinned. "Yeah, I'm paying. Maybe you could use a little of that valkyrie mojo of yours to get us a good table though. Rub elbows with the rich and famous."**

 **Tamsin shook her head. "Rich and famous - you mean like you? You want me to make the hostess doubt herself into seating us in the VIP section?"**

 **"** **I may be rich but I'm not famous." He grinned wolfishly. "Hey, D-man! We're going for dinner. You coming?" He waved toward the door as they passed Dyson on his way in.**

 **oOo**

 **"** **Kenzi?"**

 **She looked up at the only person who remained in the room - her anchor with the familiar voice and safe, comforting vibes. Felling more secure, she studied the woman's face from her chocolate brown eyes to her jawline, trying to remember the name that just barely escaped her memory. She knew this woman, she knew her almost as well as she knew herself. Why in the hell couldn't she remember her name?**

 **"** **Kenzi, do you know where you are?"**

 **She turned her head slightly to glance at her surroundings in case they had changed without her noticing. Nope, still in Narnia. She considered indicating that she did indeed know where she was but somehow she figured this – where ever it was – wasn't really Narnia. Instead, she shook her head slightly.**

 **"** **Do you know who I am?"**

 **She stared hard at her questioner. Somewhere at the back of her mind, she knew this woman but still she couldn't recall her name. Tears filled her eyes as she slowly shook her head again. She didn't want to disappoint her in fear of angering her and earning a violent reprisal but she simply couldn't remember who she was. She cringed away from the woman, her tears leaking into her hairline as she shrank back.**

 **"** **Shh... Hey, hey, hey, Kenzi. It's okay. It's alright."**

 **She felt the woman's hands quickly reach out and touch her face, wiping her tears away with gentle fingers. She tried to pull away from the woman but was instead enveloped in a tight hug. Feeling her body crushed in so tight an embrace was oddly comforting but also sent tremors of raw terror through her body. She felt the woman pull slightly away, holding her face between her hands as she peered steadily into her eyes.**

 **"** **It's okay if you don't remember me. It's okay if you don't remember this place. All that matters right now is that we found you and you're safe."**

 **She felt herself pulled back into a tight hug. Maybe the woman was telling the truth – she could easily have lashed out at her but hugged her instead. She wished she could give her something back in return. She peered at the room from her position pressed against the woman's shoulder, scanning everything she could see. Finally something on the far side of the room caught her notice and she gasped slightly.**

 **"** **Kenz? What is it?"**

 **Sitting back against the couch, she kept her gaze focused on the object she had recognized. One small thing in a vast world of things she didn't remember... She raised her hand, pointing at it.**

 **"** **What?" The woman followed her finger to the bookcase on the far side of the room. Ruffling through the items that were stacked there, she spied a familiar volume. "This? You remember this book?"**

 **She nodded slowly.**

 **The woman smiled. "Of course you remember this book." She handed it over.**

 **Taking it gingerly, she opened the cover and drew her hands down the length of the pages. She couldn't read the words written inside but she knew the shapes of the symbols. She knew this book. She smiled faintly.**

 **"** **You remember that, huh? You saved the world with that book, you know. You deciphered the code and figured out where the Garuda was hiding. You even went with us and fought as hard as any Fae there – maybe even harder. You're the best of us, a real hero."**

 **She pulled away from the tender caress of the woman's hand on her knee, pulling the book with her. There were some things she couldn't believe, even from the woman she used as an anchor.**

 ** _to be continued..._**


	7. Chapter 7

_(author's note: Sorry for the delay in picking this back up. The holidays were ridiculously stressful this year.)_

She was feeling more alert and rested after another nap and another serving of food. The woman helped her manage the bowl and spoon since her own hands were occupied holding the book. It made her feel better to keep in physical contact with something (anything) familiar – even if it was a smelly, musty old book.

She silently hugged it to her chest and watched the goings on in the room. Every so often one of them would flash her a smile as they went about their business or they'd pause and say something to her. Sometimes she would nod in answer to their words but mostly she remained silent and still and simply watched them.

"You know, Kenz, I'm almost getting used to seeing you without all that makeup." The blond woman in the white coat had come back. "But I think I miss the eyeliner and mascara too. You look so much younger without it."

When the woman reached out and gently brushed her hair back from her face, she tried to stay calm but the creeping fear was never truly held at bay and it liked to inch its way into her thoughts as often as possible. She felt the woman's cool fingers delicately trail across her forehead, staying as still as possible. Trying to decide if she should be grateful or afraid. So far the woman in the white coat had done nothing to hurt her but she still didn't have any intention of trusting her.

There was just the one man present – the one who had negotiated with the guard at the factory to purchase her. How pleased she had been then to see a light at the end of her horrific tunnel of a life and how surprised she had been to discover that light was her freedom rather than her death. Through the memory, she held onto the book as if it were her only lifeline. It really felt like it might be her only lifeline because she was having difficulty believing all that was happening to her.

"How's our patient?" That was the man's voice.

The woman in the white coat answered. "Better. Actually she's a lot better than I would have thought possible at this point. Kenzi's making a remarkable recovery, physically speaking. I just wish she'd say something to at least let us know if she can still speak at all." She smiled sadly. "But it's only been two days. There's still plenty of time. I spoke with a psychiatrist who's agreed to meet with Kenzi. She has an opening in her schedule tomorrow afternoon if it's alright for her to stop by here."

The man quickly nodded. "Of course."

"Maybe if Kenzi has someone who can help her sort through some of what's trapped in her head, well maybe she'll be able to find her voice." The woman in the coat patted the blanket gently. "You really are doing very well, Kenzi." The woman smiled at her once more before she stood and disappeared up the stairs.

"That's our Kenzi. Always defying the odds." The other woman, her anchor, spoke. "Um, Trick? You may lose a book."

"What?"

She watched the man approach, eyeing him closely in case he tried to make a move to take the volume from her. He smiled at her and nodded. "That's alright. You are beginning to remember aren't you, Kenzi? You're beginning to come back to us despite it all. If keeping that book will help you in any way, you're welcome to have it. I've got plenty more old books piled up around here."

She clutched the book just a little closer, not entirely trusting him although that niggling voice in the back of her mind kept trying to convince her that maybe he spoke truthfully. Gradually, she relaxed enough to open the cover again and stare down at the symbols that covered the pages beneath her fingertips. It was a code of sorts, one that she had some fleeting memory of having studied and deciphered before. Suddenly a memory splashed across her thoughts of old blueprints and school exams. She felt certain the memory was jumbled, it made no sense for the two to be connected.

With the cracked open book in her lap she looked around the room searching for the other items she suddenly desperately wanted. If she could recreate the experience she would know for a fact it was a true memory and not just wishful thinking. She bit her lip, not sure how to get what she wanted, not even sure where to look for what she wanted.

"Bo?" The man uttered the word but her eyes flew to the woman. Bo. Yes, Bo. How could she have forgotten that name? It didn't clear up much in her muddled mind, but it finally gave that tiny voice in her brain a name to latch onto. She saw the man nod toward her.

"What's up, Kenzi? Do you need something?"

She looked down at the opened book. She knew her fingers were becoming white-knuckled in her grip on the thing but she was desperate to try to find a way to communicate. She swallowed quickly and darted a glance around the room again.

"What do you want, Kenzi? Are you in pain? Do you need more medicine?"

A quick, tiny shake of her head stopped that line of questioning.

"Okay, not hurting. The book? It's something to do with the book." Bo sighed. "I'm not good at guessing games, Kenz. You need something for the book?"

A slow but definite nod.

"Okay." Bo knelt down in from of her. "It's something to do with the book. Something from how you used the book before?"

Another nod.

"You want to try to translate it again?"

She could feel her brow furrowing but nodded slowly.

"Trick! Do you have paper and a pencil?"

"Right here," the man quickly gathered the items together and handed them over.

With a need born of pure desperation, she tried to spread out the items in her lap so that she could sort through her memory and try to replicate it but there simply wasn't enough room. A table was quickly cleared off and carried closer to the couch and supportive pillows appeared behind her. Bending to her task with real determination, she blocked out the rest of the room and began the slow process of replicating the memories in her head to the paper beneath her hand. For some reason beyond her muddied comprehension, this one task was the most important thing she could complete.

 **oOo**

Dinner was finished and they had left the restaurant, walking slowly along the rain drenched sidewalk in near silence. It was cold and Tamsin was less than thrilled to be wandering along in the damp iciness but the cold air was seeming to help clear her mind.

"I'm going to go check on Kenzi."

"Want some company?"

She shook her head, her mouth quirking. "I'm good. Think I'll walk a little first. Clear out the cobwebs."

Hale tipped his hat and continued walking with Dyson. Her departure from the two men was easier than she had expected.

She ducked down an alley, following the labyrinthine path it led her on. She knew these alleys almost better than she knew the roads, so many times had she found her way through them while tracking down one mark or another. She supposed she actually owed that knowledge to the Morrigan, odd though it was. Shaking off the irritation of having found anything useful in the dark leader, she continued on her way. She knew just how to get back to the factory from the restaurant and planned on wasting no time.

By the time she stopped at the door to the factory the black clouds overhead had finally decided to unleash a torrent of nearly frozen droplets on the city and the sight of the rain soaked alley refreshed her memory. Suddenly, her mind's eye was blinded by the horrifying memory of watching Kenzi determinedly move along the cold, wet concrete of the ground.

Tamsin found she was no longer cold despite the pouring rain and plummeting temperatures. Every cell of her body seemed to radiate blazing fire. Every pore in her skin steamed. White hot fury coursed through her in thick waves as she raised her hand to slam her fist against the metal reinforced door.

She waited, her anger growing, for someone to answer her.

 _to be continued..._


	8. Chapter 8

Slowly and painstakingly she worked through the symbols and translated her muddied understanding of them to the paper. Some of it wasn't quite right, she knew. She kept backtracking, erasing, and editing as she went but she was making real progress despite it all. Even she could see that much was true. She was so absorbed in her quest that she blocked out the others in the room almost entirely. She knew they were still there but so long as they stayed well away from her, all was good.

They kept their distance.

She continued with her task.

The blank pages slowly filled with shaky, thin writing, the script scrawling in irregular lines. As she kept at her task, she noticed the people slowly disappearing into the far corners of the room or drifting up the stairs. The more people dispersed, the more at ease she felt. She kept her head bent, her eyes flitting back and forth between the book and her translation. It felt insanely good to have a task to do - even if it was a self-imposed one.

She had no idea how much time had passed before her eyes started to droop shut and her head began to nod. The woman Bo, never farther from her than a few paces away, slowly approached her side and gently lay a hand on her knee. She still wouldn't meet the woman's gaze but she carefully controlled her urge to flinch at her touch.

"Hey Kenz, are you ready to call it a night?"

She clenched her hands into fists slowly before silently exhaling and nodding her assent. With very deliberate motions, she carefully slid her pile of paper into a neat stack and set it on top of the book on the table. The pencil she had been using was lined up next to the book just as precisely. With another silent deep breath she slid back on the couch until she was laying down, the blankets pulled up to her chin and her eyes determinedly closed.

She heard Bo sigh. "Oh Kenz…" The sound of the table being drug slightly away punctuated with a presence on the edge of the couch indicated that her visitor was not quite ready to depart. "I'm just going to be upstairs for a few minutes. I'll be right back, I promise."

She nodded slightly and felt the woman's lips graze her brow in a delicate kiss. Sleep was not long in coming.

Flickering light flashed against her closed eyelids and a deep rumbling noise shook the entirety of the world around her.

 _They were coming. They were coming. They were coming._

The words were caught on an unending loop in her head, growing louder and faster until the voice was little more than a piercing wail that echoed in her skull.

 _They were coming._

A loud crash and its answering ground shaking tremor pulled her solidly from her nightmare-filled sleep, if not from the nightmare itself. She desperately searched the darkened room for any sign of interlopers. Then she cast her gaze about even more desperately for the woman Bo. There was no one there - she was all alone.

 _And they were coming._

Another loud booming crash and blinding flash of light startled her into movement. The pain didn't matter, she had to find somewhere to hide before it was too late - before they came.

There had been no hope of hiding when she had been caged in her cell. Absolutely no way to become invisible. Here in Narnia she at least had a better chance of disappearing from their notice. She pushed herself from herself from her sickbed and scrambled across the floor as best she could, ignoring the protestations of her body. She had to find a hiding place. Sheer terror hardened her resolve and egged her on. She had to hide. She could not survive another session of their particular brand of ministrations.

The booming crashes continued as did the screeching warning in her head but soon all sound was drowned out by a soul jarring scream that went on and on without stopping. She clawed at cher head and ears to keep from having to hear the sound. Deep in her subconscious was the realization that punishment would be doled out liberally very soon. If even one made any sound at all, everyone suffered the consequences.

With her fingers still clawing at her ears and her knees drawn up tightly to her chest she frantically rocked back and forth. Back and forth in the dim and dusty space beneath the stairs. The first place she had found in which to hide herself away from those that would be coming to do her grievous harm.

 _Please, please, please, please, please, no, no, no, no…_

 **oOo**

What had begun as a gentle soaking rain had coalesced into a massive, violent thunderstorm by the time Tamsin left the warehouse. The jailers would no longer be a threat to Kenzi or anyone else for that matter and the captives had been identified by the local police as highly traumatized victims of human traffickers. So all in all it was a win-win. And she had taken care of it without the assistance of the others - something they would balk about when they found out but that made no difference now. She had felt a real need to wreck some vengeance of her own before she had a complete melt down and had seized the first opportunity she had been able to find.

Deciding to stop by the Dal on her way home in order the look in on Kenzi, she came to a stop on the stoop just shy of opening the door. Something was not right. Something was very definitely wrong. There was a blood chilling, inhuman keening wail coming from deep within the Dal Riata that set Tamsin's teeth on edge and raised goose bumps along her arms and neck. It was a sound she could not liken to any she had heard before, even on the battlefield.

After shaking off her chill, she dashed into the building. The bar was empty and dark but there was a thin stream of light emanating up from Trick's inner sanctum, the noise too seemed to come from that general direction. Below stairs Tamsin found Trick and Dyson standing frozen in the low light. The sound grew louder as she joined them.

The sight that met her eyes was not what she had expected. Bo was crouched on the floor beneath the stairs, her arms wrapped tightly around Kenzi who seemed to carry on screaming without needing to pause to take a breath. Bo worked to gently stop Kenzi from trying to tear at her ears, easing her hands away from her head and holding them firmly but carefully in her lap. She matched the young woman's rocking motions as well.

"What in the hell happened?"

"We think it was the noise of the storm."

Tamsin nodded.

Bo's attention was directed fully on Kenzi. She had somehow managed to wedge herself into the small space with the panicked woman, wrapping her in what could only be called a death grip of a hug. Still Kenzi screamed.

Tamsin could not move, the blood in her veins turning to ice water even as her fury rose to even greater heights. She felt a very real need to hurl herself headlong into a bloody battle, do anything to relieve the boundless anger that threatened to overwhelm her.

Then Kenzi stopped screaming and the sudden crashing silence was even more horrifying than the wail had been. She hadn't moved beyond her frantic rocking, even her mouth was still agape - but she was utterly silent.

Tamsin stared into the blue of her eyes, seeing for the first time since their rescue of her just how much unspeakable horror lurked in her soul. Had she been right to hope Kenzi had died early on in her captivity? Oh yes, she had been. She would never wish her dead now that they had found her but she did find herself fruitlessly wishing Kenzi had been spared at least some small amount of the suffering she had endured.

Shaking herself from her pointless thoughts, she took the blanket Trick held in lifeless fingers. They were all dumbstruck in the unnerving quiet, only the sound of the continuing storm outside invaded their company. The blanket was bunny rabbit soft in her hands and she knelt next to the pair beneath the stairs to bundle as much of the thick fabric around Kenzi's body as she could reach and managing to envelop Bo as well. Done, she cleared her throat.

"Well, that answers that question."

Bo looked askance.

"They didn't physically steal her voice. They may have taken it psychologically but that's something that can be fixed."

Bo nodded still clutching Kenzi as she continued to quietly match her rocking. Tamsin couldn't tell if Kenzi's silent scream continued because she had at last moved and buried her face against Bo's shoulder.

"PTSD's a bitch."

Bo nodded again. "I'm going to kill every last one of them," she promised in a soft, calm voice. "I'm going to kill them and then I'm going to bring them back and kill them again."

"Sorry to ruin your vengeance plans but they've already been taken care of."

That little announcement drew everyone's attention but Trick was faster to find his voice. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that I called in a few favors." Tamsin tried to shrug off the weight of their stares. "What they did to Kenz - they deserved a lot worse than they got."

Kenzi lifted her head and her eyes locked with Tamsin's. Tamsin would have sworn the other woman almost smiled. Battlefield Kenzi could certainly appreciate the bad guys getting their just desserts. The ghost of a smile gave Tamsin the hope that there really might be a chance to get Kenzi, their Kenzi, their bubbly-never silent-mascara wearing-bad ass with a definite sense of style Kenzi, back.

 _to be continued..._


End file.
